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12.00am
.....and so it goes on and on......
11.00pm
22/4/05
Bleahx.. haven been updating... lazy bahx.. 4 days later syf worx.. cham cham ahx.. somemore my wrist injured... T.T.. it's like getting from bad to worse norrrx... aiyar... hack lar.. also bo bian..
Howwww.. got maths test... sian.. mid year coming le... haven done anything yet though.. xD .. bleahx..
Nvm.. study maths ! Later tt shankar come pester me.. >.< CyAz..
10.20pm
AHHHHHHH... 2 days later syf... howwwww.. >.<
10.31pm
Tml shall be the day.... ..... ow.. accidentally cut my finger by a penknife when doing newspaper cutting.. >.<...
Slp time! We r0x! ^^
10.56pm
Today was SYF.. Singapore Conference Hall... depressed lar.. we achieved a silver norx.. when we're like.. suppose to get at LEAST a gold norx... like wtf.. haii.. my heart sank when i heard the results norx.. freak u judges.. old, blind, deaf, useless, dun even noe how to appreciate music, how the hell do u ever get to be judges.. u ruined us u noe... haii... somemore me also step down from today onwards.. sian lar.. stupid judges.. T.T.. really cried when i heard the results ahx... couldn't believe that Sengkang got a gold norx... sarks.. hate this.. grrrrr.. T.T
Hai.. suan le bahx... also no more 26/4/05 le... dejected... we still r0x though.. ^^
10.15pm
Eeeeeeee.. April ending soon le... exams also starting soon le... next wed i think.. den 16 may end i guess.. ahhh.. =| anyway.. went to cut hair today.. short le.. bleahx.. nvm.. will grow back.. ^^
7.48pm
Day One.. No comments....
2.24pm
Day Two.. Alright bahx...
4.01pm
Yay~.. got top for history test again... didn't expect it norx.. haha.. but den miss by 1 mark to get A1... Ahhh.. >.< .. Nvm.. still got mid year.. ^^ i love zaharah xD Heh
Stupid vijay.. ask us pia finish all the maths corrections den dun wan collect.. hai wo pai until so cham.. draw transformations.. hmpfff.. though very little narhx... but den still ma fan mahx.. >.< .. all vijay fault!
Eeeeeeee... 24 more days >.< .. howwwww.. cham cham cham... gotta do something about it... *rolls eyes*
/ Wo he wo de jue jiang! \ xD
c'est la vie juste
5.00pm
Day Three... SCREWED.
Dammit narhx.. i screwed up my comb. humans today.. i spotted all the qns for history norx.. and i forget how to do one qns... somemore is SEQ norx.. Freak me narhx.. Can someone just kill me... Grrrrr.. Screwed. SCREWED SCREWED
Grrr.. my distinction norx... Haiii.. freak me... T.T.. What's the problem with me... What's wrong with me....
2.38pm
Day Four.. Lame.. Waste of time... =|
Eeeeeee... i cannot fall siccckkk~!~! >.<
2.44pm
Day Five... Goodness gracious me.. my june holidays become nightmare... ki siao liao... haaiiii... i think i'll be letting everyone down.. ahhh.. T.T .. terrible.. disastrous..
U too lonely is it.. wan our whole class pei u during holidays is it... no need lidat de mahx... torture us... haiii.. very very drained...
3.29pm
Day Six... Hmm.. Alright lar.. also dunno if i will do well or nortx.. hahaz.. yay.. mid year going end leee.. but den gotta pia chinese >.< ... Sian.. ahhh.. tml chem + dnt.. =|
2.58pm
13/5/05What is happening to meeeeeeeeeeeeee... why is it that my chem deproved so muchh... ahhhhh... T.T
12.06am
Day Seven... hai hao bahx...
Yay.. going end le.. weeeee... ahhahz.. but den gotta starting piaing chinese le.. left erm.. 17 more days?!!! *bites nails.. I'm so drained... still gotta memorise geog.. sian...
*yawns..
4.33pm
Wad sia... every year i study geog i cry.. lol... from the start of pri 1.. until now.. i made 10 years of mistake.. wth.. can i just.. do something right...? BLah... this is nuts.. *yawns
11.13pm
Day Eight... I lost 19 marks cause i wrote the wrong forest. I'm never ever gonna do natural vegetation again, unless there is no diagrams. Damn. Can't i do anything right?
8.00pmI fell from a great height, and I remained as it is - Stagnant. I showed no progress, only deterioration. I wonder how am I going to face everyone. My family pinned high hopes on me and I thrash them up like breaking a glass vase with my very own hands. Tears of sorrow flowed down my eyes like running tap, I doubt they'll care. Guess all I'll get from them is scoldings, scoldings and scoldings. Maybe to be extent of being grounded. I feel very inferior. Very. I can't even win my own class, what more the international exam? I have a brother, who excels not only in his studies, but in everything. He is disappointed with his results, because he didn't score a perfect score of 10 A1s. How about me? I think it'll be better if I'm gone. My brother is in hwa chong institute now. My mother is an ex-cedar girl. My father is an ex-singapore polytechnic student. Me? Some kinda rubbish or dirt that is meant to be thrown into the dustbin and never to be retrieved. Isn't that the best solution? I don't see the point in me continuing. It will only cause more heartbreaks and disappointments.
Some will be jumping for joy, some will be sobbing like a helpless child. Me? Hah, probably visiting the King Of Hell. I fail in everything. Studies, friendships, love, everything. You name it. What's the point of me staying on? I'm just wasting the Earth's precious resources. Who will grief for me if I die? Will he? Will you? Will they? Who knows. I don't.
What is the damn problem with me? I can't seem to do anything right. I screw up everything I do. I hate myself. I really do. I can't take it anymore... I can't stand it.. I really can't... Can someone just.. stab me or shoot me or hang me or drug me or burn me to death......
5.03pm
Eeeeeee.. just came back from Funan.. bought my bro's lappy le.. so qiang norx >.< .. Acer 8104 travelmate.. lolx.. nvm larr.. Anyway.. i only studied 2 pages of chinese.. hahahah.. pathetic.. Gotta study le.. >.< ...
7 days later....
2.46pm
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
8.05pm
Oh yay, 2 days ledt. What have I done? Let me see, practically nothing. Freak me.
Grrrrr. I'm so damn pissed. Again. Bloody hell. I received a scolding because I got a C for my CME. You think I know why I got that grade? Ask that freako teacher Mr John Pual Low. He's a damn bastard. I think it's because I didn't hand up my book, hence he gave me that freak grade. He's a weirdo. I doubt anyone in my class got a B, what more an A. Okay fine, I'm useless. With a so darn expensive tuition, I still failed my maths. Like what? I passed my paper, overall I failed. Why? Cause my common test I got an F9. When I came back, I told you that the damn paper was difficult, and you said that if I could pass, it'd be good, or whatever. Now? I should be getting at least 60+. Okay fine, I got an F9 for English. Or maybe a U. Amazing, right? I myself don't know why I scored that. I myself can't even believe it. You think I dare to tell my results? I don't even dare to come home. I don't even dare to face you people. What is the darn problem with me? I wonder how many records I've broken. I failed my English, Maths, and Science. Where can I go? Nowhere. So? Quit school. But, no certificate. Highest education level, primary 6. And it's not as if I did well for my PSLE. So how? I don't know. Great. No path, no road, nothing. HA. Perfection.
....no one hears me....
3.32pm
Wth wth wth wth. I failed my zong he tian kong AGAIN! Worse, it's during the o's. Great great great. I think, I'm really gonna retake. I'm extremely unsatisfied with my performance, yea even though the results ain't released yet. I'd better WAKE UP. Darn. Hate myself. Argh.
10.03pm
What is the meaning of holidays? To go school everyday from the first to the 16th? Or maybe even longer? Hah. What a joke. Ah well.....
Watched Star Wars, Revenge of the Sith, yesterday night. Kewl show, the light saber is beautiful. Papa bought PSP yesterday too. Haha. Sigh..
Got Ou De Yang's new album already, quite nice lar. I want to watch Initial D too. =| I don't know what to say anymore.
12.29pm
Hey you, cheer up kae? You seem unhappy... take care worx. =) .. Perhaps I'm just.. thinking too much lar, but still, be happy. ^^
I'm always here...
5.13pm
Oh yay. DND camp is over finally. But still gotta go back school, for dnt, and english tutorial. Damn. I hate you. What's the english tutorial for yea? Waste my time. I wanna sleep de okay. I'm so very lack of sleep. Gah. Whatever.
Anyway, today we had the interclass games again. And well, my class emerged as the overall championship. Yea well, e3 r0x kae. Our class gals thrashed the classes in Captain's ball, yea. Well done gals. U peeps r0x. And last year 4e2.. nahx nvm. It's been 1 year. ^^ So.. forget it yea?
Hmm.. guys ah guys.. treat us gals properly will ya? We ain't dirt for you to throw us around when you don't need us. We ain't a can of coke kae, for you guys to throw us into the bin after you've finished drinking it kae? We are humans alright? We have feelings. Don't toy our feelings. I'm not speaking about myself though. ^^ I'm single kae. It r0x though. xD
Well well well. Gah. Both my wrists hurt badly! Crap. =| Oh yea. My friend's wood piece fell on top of my finger. Haha. Hurts. But yea, it's okay. x) Played balloons in class, and I burst a few too. Hehe. Fun. My friend made for me a puppy too, but it ended up being something else. Hahaha.. it landed up onto the floor in the end. Hehe. Nahx nvm. x)
I want back my holidays! T.T
Tired... tired... tired....
8.50pm
To let go isn't to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings or anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't winning, and it isn't losing. It's not about pride, and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It's not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss, and it's not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and to move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and to set yourself free.
5.08pm
The first song that I am going to learn when I start on piano is Canon In D major. xD I love that song.
9.41pm
Hmm. Haven't been updating my blog for quite some time. Yea, too lazy. Nothing much to talk about too. Okay. First, happy birthday to my brother, and my mother. Yea, their birthdays happened quite some time ago. Second, managed to catch Initial D and played pool. Kewl. But yea, 1 hour of pool, so couldn't really played much. Just managed to play 4 games. Little yea? Third, it's back to school again tomorrow. How boring can that be? Sigh.. 3 more months...
I've got nothing much to say, so maybe I'll just end here. I'll update if I have the time, and if I'm not too lazy.
12.19pm
Great. 2 more months.
High on a hill
Heard a bird sing her song
Sang you were true
Well, she got it all wrong
She didn't know about you're Lies
And all you're stupid alibis
Don't you know, this bird got wise
Surprise surprise surprise
The writings one the wall
Yeah yeah
In letters written tall
Yeah yeah
I thought I'd let you know before I go
I will see you crawl
Fell of the hill
Into darkest of dreams
Promises broke
Ripped apart at the seams
So now you know this bird has flown
You will repay me what you owe
Don't you know you're gonna live
Alone alone alone
The writings one the wall
Yeah yeah
In letters written tall
Yeah yeah
I thought I'd let you know before I go
You made a big mistake
Yeah yeah
Signed and sealed your fate
Yeah Yeah
I thought I'd let you know before I go
I will see you crawl
I'll wait till the night comes
In the darkness you are no one
I'll wait till the night comes
Until I know all you're shadows are gone
The writings one the wall
Yeah yeah
In letters written tall
Yeah yeah
I thought I'd let you know before I go
You made a big mistake
Yeah yeah
Signed and sealed your fate
Yeah Yeah
I thought I let you know before I go
I will see you crawl
I will see you crawl
Marion Raven - Crawl. This song's nice. ^^
2.06pm
All right. This place's getting all dusty and dirty; cobwebs everywhere. It's been ages since I last updated my blog. Gosh. How time really flies. Well, I've been through quite a few things, heard a few things, seen a few things, experienced a few things, made and ruined a few things, perhaps. Anyhow, I'm still here.
Tomorrow's the start of my Preliminary Examinations, yea well, it started today, but I didn't have to turn up. Sigh.. It's just two more months down the road.. Whatever.
First things first, I'll talk about family. Family, or rather, Father And Mother I Love You. I did quite a bit of reflection, and realised that, perhaps I was too naive in the past. All along, I thought that friends were the most important, or maybe boyfriend, was the most important in my life. I thought that they would be there for me, rain or shine, they'll still be there to support me, to encourage me, to go through thick and thin with me, to clean my tears and cheer me on, but it turned out to be otherwise. I searched high and low for a pillar of support, someone or something, to be there for me at anytime. But little did I expect, my strongest and only pillar of support was standing right in front of my pair of eyes all along, since day one of my journey. My family. My father, my mother, my brother. They were there, and they are there. No doubt, I do get scoldings and naggings from my parents, but which parents don't? I post these questions: Who was the one who brought you up? Who was the one who provided you food, clothes and shelter? Who was the one who gave you luxuries like gadgets, such as computers and handphones? Who was the one who worked day in and day out, striving so hard to keep the house and the occupants going smoothly? And the list just goes on.
[Voices are calling at the back of my head... "Aiyar where got, whole day nag nag nag only, then want me get good results and stuff like that, never care about my feelings and such..... Blah blah"] Yes I know. But just think, when they're gone, will you still be able to grumble and complaint about all these naggings and scoldings? When you're old, but without qualifications, do you blame yourself for not listening to them, or do you blame them for nagging at you too much, causing you to lose interest in studying, and thus stopping you from pursuing your dreams and ambitions? Well, you yourself know. But well, in some cases, some are orphans, and some belong to single-parent families. Well, don't blame your parents for that. Maybe they have their reasons, which aren't meant to be told. Perhaps they didn't want you to know until you're older and stuff like that. Basically, everyone does something for a reason, is just whether the reasons can/should be told or not. Understand them. Put yourself in their shoes. During that moment, you had no other choice but to leave - it is your last resort - and go, to somewhere. What if you know that your son/s/daughter/s will detest you for sure in the near future, but you had no other alternative? However, you sincerely want them to forgive you. What will your feelings be? Great? Sad? Sorrow? Think about it.
Nothing is perfect. Nobody is perfect. Cherish whatever you possess now, before it's too late. =)
Secondly, love. Hot topic, perhaps? Love isn't hateful, but it's sweet and beautiful. The love from your family, the love showered and the warmth. Oh how wonderful. The smiles that you managed, the laughter that you made, the joy that you experienced, the breath-taking scenery that only you can see, the sorrow that you felt, the tears that you shed, the heart-wrenching moments you had, are all part of love. The names you call each other, for instance, dear, honey, etc; the gifts you shower each other; the meals you ate together and the time spent with each other. How affectionate. But just a twist of fate, everything diminishes, and both starts becoming strangers. And both begin to dislike each other and the times they had together, etc etc. But is it necessary? To hate after love? To me, there is no such need. But to others, I have no idea.
Love is such a wonderful thing, perhaps one of the most amazing things created. The flaws which you once seemed to notice, disappears. Everything becomes a whole - perfect. You seem to be looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses. The ups and downs which both parties expericed, are part of growing, are part of strengthening the relationship. In every situation, there's sure to be ups and downs, it's just how you tackle them. The arugments both parties had, and then reconcile after that... are all part and parcel of the love-life. It allows us to grow; it makes us realise our mistakes and correct them; it makes us stronger.
Yes the pain of losing your partner is devastating. Unbearable. And you may shun your partner for then on. But is there such a need?
Compromise, give in, understand, tolerate, love, care, share, effort. =)
Basically, platonic relationships are by far the best at this age. Handle yourself, understand yourself, know yourself, love yourself, realise yourself, before taking the hand of the other.
Perhaps, this entry of mine, may infuriate some people. I hereby sincerely apologise for this, but nevertheless, these are my thoughts and feelings. Thank you for your understanding.
P.S. The 'you' and 'yourself' in this entry isn't referring to anyone in particular. Please do not be offended. Thank you.
I wish all you people out there, good luck in your future endeavours. =) After every thunderstorm, there'll be a rainbow. Patience. Effort. Will.
8.09pm
Sigh.. My future's bleak. I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Darkness fills me; nobody is there. Just the air, me, and the walls which seem to close in with every minute. I'm digging my own grave and I'm wasting everybody's time. Nothing seems to sail smoothly. Incredible..
Comments? Opinions? Blah blah. Email me at clara_lim_@hotmail.com
But please state who you are, be it your nick name or whatever, and the subject. But please, no virus. Thank you.
10.27pm
I think I'm contradicting myself.
Comments? Email me at clara_lim_@hotmail.com
12.34am
This blog is crap. Things written in here are crap. Everything is crap. I am crap.
11.26pm
I really wonder who I can turn to...
As I gaze upon the skies.. I see no stars..8.21pm
Yay. 3 more days! xD
-.-
1.15pm
Happy very belated new year. All right, I know. It's almost to the end of January. Sorry mahx. Chinese New Year's coming; just yet another day. Sigh..
What's wrong with me! =(
10.25pm
Argh. I am damn bloody tired and my house is damn bloody noisy. Irritating!
7.50pm
How time flies. It's February again.
For my 10 years of education life, I made uncountable wrong moves. But the one thing which is perfect is you. For many times, I had the urge to give up everything, since nothing was sailing smoothly for me. But during my days of darkness, the glow which emanated from your pair of beautiful eyes, and the encouragements, lit up my path and gave me the strength nd courage to carry on.
I admire your persistance and devotion you have. You never once did think of giving up, regardless of who tough and painful the situation is. My mistakes were legion, yet you remain magnanimous. You forgave me time and again. You never did hold them against me, you never did bear grudges.
You stood by me always, for both good and bad times. During the period when I'm having my examinations, you sacrificed your precious sleep to accompany me through the long nights, even though you were extremely lack of it ; during the days when I cried because I fared poorly, you comforted me and embraced me in your healing arms ; when I did well, my efforts were recognised and you rewarded me fruitfully ; whenever I fall ill, you never fail to take care of me ; during the school holidays, you brought me out shopping, despite your tight schedule and the endles line of phone calls. You never once left me in a lurch, never once utter a word of dissatisfaction.
Whenever he broke your heart into pieces, you remained strong. Perhaps he is oblivious to it, but we know. To you, giving up was and is never an option. However arduous your journey is, you stood firm, never attempting to surrender.
It is you who showered me with the priceless love, warmth and concern. It is you who provided me with a roof over my head. It is you who never did let go of all of us. It is you who enlightened me. It is you who added colours to my life.You are the rainbow in my life, and you remain as the rainbow during my darkest moments.
Without your teachings and guidiance, I would end up as a juvenile delinquent. Without you, I would not be where I am today, instead I would probably be behind bars. Without you, I wouldn't be able to spread my wings and soar. Without you, I am nothing.
Written by: Clara Lim
8 May 2005
Sunday
11.16pm
7.38pm
Home. What is a 'home'?
Money can buy houses, but not home. "Home is where the heart is.", tells us where to find the true treasures of life. These treasures cannot be brought with any amount of money, yet is available to even the most impoverished person. Home, a place for comfort, love, and help in times of need. The thought of returning home provides us with a wellspring of hope and strength. We draw upon this hope to get us through some of our most difficult times in life.
During our childhood days, we look upon our parents as models for us to follow - they are never wrong. We get everything we want and things to go in our way. The moment something is 'out of order', we wail and scream, throw tantrums, demanding our parents to get it done for us. When we are satisfied, we grin like a Cheshire cat, and we too, see our parents smile sweetly at us, not knowing our parents had to go through an extra step. Perhaps, during those days, "home" is a place where we are able to get things done in our way, without any 'buts'.
As we grow older, and we enter the life of a teenager, things start to change. We mature more and our depth of knowledge increases. In school, we face setbacks, such asm poor results and the inability to cope with stress. We cry out loud in front of our parents and they will embrace us, console us. When we commit an act of dishonesty or our results are way below our standards, our parents will flare up and chide us. We may feel remorseful and promise them to work hard from now onwards during that period of lecturing, but may forget everything when the period which what seemed like eternity, ends. However, history repeats itself and we have to go through the same 'procedure' once again. At this age, we tend to give in to peer pressure, and often, we land up being a delinquent. Nevertheless, they still shower us with care and love, the encouragement and consolation that we need when we are in despair. They persevere and giving up was not an option for them at any time. Their words enlightened us each day, and step by step, we are now back to the correct path of life. "Home" is a place where we are able to see a ray of hope and rejuvenate our energy everyday without fail. "Home" is where we can do anything we like without any worries. This is probably our defination for 'home' at that age.
Time flies and we are now mature adults. We get married and start a family. A new home. We give the best to our flesh and blood, educate them and protect them at all cost. Sometimes, we may be unaware that they are living in a lap of luxury. We work everyday, to support the family, and in the evenings, we spend the night together, watching television programmes and then tuck them in. We watch them grow up, gradually, everyday. We see them change, we see them mature. We do what our parents did for us - encourage, console, and scold them so that they are able to differentiate between right and wrong, and to prevent them from going astray. "Home" is therefore a place where true comfort and love lies, and there is no other better comforts apart from our home. At home, we are able to forgive each other willingly and bury the hatchet.
As we age and in a twinkle of the eye, we are now grandparents. We are now retirees and our children have grown old and matured, no longer the playful and mischievious kid in the past. Now, our grandchildren are adorable and we love to tell fairytale stories to them. The sweetness of their smile, their look of innocence, and their cheerful personality melts our heart. Often, they will plant a kiss on our wrinkled cheeks to demand a candy or lollipop from us. Occasionally, we will take a family photo for remembrance. Looking at the harmony in the house, no tensions and acrimony, we are relieved. The painful efforts that we have put in to bring up our children and those heart-wrenching moments which they used to give us, have paid off. "Home" is a place of joy, warmth, comfort and security. The ups and downs that we face, are all part and parcel of establishing a strong bond amongst us, and to build a close-knitted family. There is harmony and peace. "Home" is therefore a place of security and feeling contented with what we have, to share woes and weals with the family, to be there for one another, to be each other's pillar of support, to be able to communicate anything under the sun without feeling awkward. "Home" is where we develop our potential and find our true self.
Written by: Clara Lim
21 October 2005
Friday
5.06pm
7.45pm
Welcome April! =)
I woke up from my deep slumber, and then I headed for the restroom to freshen myself up. I saw a piece of document on the table. "Oh, a letter," I thought to myself. So i happily opened it (yea i love letters, I guess), but I spotted something. Oh dear, something is amiss. I then decided to call up Company A. Ring ring. Okay. As you know, we are living in this fast-paced-computerised-digitech-world, speaking to machines seems ubiquitious. "Welcome to Company A, (forgot how it goes) for this-this-this, press 1, for that-that-that, press 2, ...." and the list goes on. Okay. Press 1. And not surprisingly, the machine starts 'talking', again. "For this-this-this, press 1, for that-that-that, press 2, for this-and-that, press 3, and blah blah blah." All right. Press 1. I was getting quite chised off after this. And again. "For this-this-this, press 1, for that-that-that, press 2, ............. , to speak to our service officer, press 5." Ah-ha! Finally, a human. Someone whom I can speak to directly without hearing a long list of options before deciding mine. So I pressed 5 and I was excited. Yea excited. However, it turned out otherwise - I was utterly disappointed. "For this-and-this, press 1, for this-that-this, press 2........" Grrrrr. Fuming, I slammed the phone down. My gosh. Hence, I decided to go to Company A personally some other time to clear my doubts.
Shocking, isn't it? =)
Fairytales blind us from the reality. The reality that life is unfair. The reality that nothing lasts forever. The reality that we must fight for what we want, like our happiness. I guess. Fairytale cloud our brain and thus we seem to think that life is a bed of roses. It is only when we lose someone or something so precious to us, then we start to wake up. Our vision becomes clearer and we understand the meaning of 'harsh', 'cruel', 'unfair'. Why wait till then to realise? Why not treasure what we have? Why envy what others have? Why not love what you have and who you are? Why mutilate yourself by slashing or hurting yourself intentionally and/or going on a regimental diet?
Envy not what others have, but what you have.
"Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a Law Eternal." - Dhammapada (sayings of the Buddha) verse 5
5.53pm
How about that ...
4.47pm
Gah.
12.38am
Be happy... x)
6.03pm
I love my moomoo XD
HOR?
11.02pm
Lol... How I so feel like crying now......
1.17am
Happy birthday to you! ^^ Old liao ah.. ^^
12.00am
Argh. This is getting very irritating. Things can't seem to go the way I want. I think I'm down with a flu again. I went to install a game, and guess what happens? I failed. Unsuccessful attempt. I tried again and the same thing happened. Wtf. Yet when I asked for help, none was available. Pissed off. I have no idea where I last placed my user's manual for my computer. Fine. I can't get connected to my school's wrireless LAN cause I wasn't using the compatible LAN card. And what? That LAN card can only be found in one particular model provided by the school. Wtf. Great. Ha ha ha.
I GIVE UP.
Nothing seems to go right for me. Okay fine. I know there are many people out there complaining about the same thing. Sorry.
Seriously I feel like exploding. Many times. It's very tiring...
11.45pm
WHY WHY WHY!
Why does it have to happen to me? Why don't you tell me that piece of news earlier? Why do I feel like I'm just a piece of shit? Why am I always being cast aside to a corner? Why are things going downhill for me? Why....
11.55pm
I feel betrayed.
2.47pm
A Twisted Love Poem
By Judy Terando
He didn't like the way I walked.
He didn't like the way I talked.
He said I was dum and embarrassed him
Who am I? Why am I grim?
No more friends. No calls from them.
Who am I? Why am I grim?
What's wrong with the way I dress?
My hair, make-up? Do I really look like a mess?
If I need to change all that wrong with me
Who am I? What will I be?
The silent treatment - he's in control.
I'm so sad. Who don't I feel whole?
I must've done something wrong to him.
Who am I? Why am I grim?
I can't rememeber happy days...
Only his possessive, jealous ways.
First a push, a little shove...
Is this it? Is this love?
I thought it was true...
People who love you don't hit you.
Love shouldn't mean I need to be hit.
Not once or twice, not one little bit.
If I should change all that wrong, you see,
There'd be nothing left of me.
I'm better now. I dumped the jerk.
And starting to regain some of my former perk.
I can laugh again and enjoy my life.
It's much easier without all that strife.
If he doesn't make you feel good about who you are.
Run. Run. Run so very far.
5.41pm
Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever since you've been gone.....
7.19pm
Welcome January! x)
2.01pm
Friends are forever. Our friendship will never end. You will always be my best friend. And more. That's what we used to say during our younger days, including me. But then, I realised that as we mature, as we grow up, such phrases are oh-so-commonly-used, so much so that they become untrue. Cliche. Forever is non-existant. We live, we die, only a matter of time. Old ones will leave and new ones will come by. A never-ending cycle. Period. Who knows, maybe a long lost friend of someone may return to him/her. When? No idea. Friends vary. I'm sure many of us have encountered friends who are the so-called "hi-bye" friends ; friends who are fair-weathered ; friends who are there to walk us through the dark but not there to experience the joys ; and friends who are really our true friends.
"Hi-bye" friends. Not unusual. I doubt they will even care if anything happens to you.
Fair-weathered. "Come, let's go for a drink tonight!" And so happily they went. But when one of them, let's say is Human A. When Human A is really in need of someone to be there for him/her, to hear him/her out, to really need this little help in order for his/her career to take off, where the f*** are Human A's friends? Gone. Disappeared into thin air. This will be the time, when Human A will then think twice about his/her bunch of goody-two-shoes friends. "I thought they were my friends..... I really thought they were......"
Friends who will appear when we fall, but mysteriously vanish when we want to share the happiness. Seriously, I really appreciate such friends. At least, it gives you the feeling that you're not alone - you have somebody to lean on. Thank you. But i really do wish and hope that such friends will come back, as one who will cry with me and play along with me. Not just either.
True friends. A handful. One will know who are their true friends when the crunch comes. Those whom you thought will stick with you through thick and thin, brave rain and storm for you, and whatever-nots, may actually turn out to be "play can come find me but don't get me involved in your sh*t troubles".
Yeap. Sometimes, no not sometimes. I should say mostly. Mostly, it gets very disappointing. But not to worry, someone somewhere out in the corner, will definately be your guardian angel. Time.
9.08pm
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